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The Bob Newhart Forum
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RE: The untold legacy of Mr. Newhart
Dear Mr. Newhart, You have millions of fans and enjoy fame and fortune, but there is another side to the story, one I am sure you want to hide. Well, it's time for your victims to speak up. You see, Mr. Newhart, my name is Milford Dexter and I'm 40 years old. That's right. DEXTER. Rings a bell, doesn't it? What's more, my father's name, given to him long before your mind got buttoned down, is Frank Dexter, and all his life he's been a driving instructor, a proud one, in Idaho, which, if you didn't know, has been recognized 12 years running for having the clearest highway markings in the nation. Our lane stripes are visible from a distance of nearly three quarters of a mile. In any case, Mr. Newhart, because of your comedic insensitivity, I had to grow up in shame during the 1970s. There was the time when I was 8 years old and my father drove me to my friend's birthday party. Everyone was outside in the yard. We pulled up and Larry Farfnik announced, "Hey look! Milford's getting dropped off by his father, the famous driving instructor. Maybe we should shut off all the sprinklers!" Mr. Newhart, you have no idea what this does to a child. Things did not get better in my late teens, when I got my own license. Everywhere I went, people yelled, "Hey Dexter, don't forget to check the rear view mirror!" or "Be careful - don't shift into reverse!" as I cruised by. Red lights were a nightmare, as you can imagine. "Yoo-hoo, Milford. Making a left turn?" After years of scorn, I had to
Brooklyn - 03/04/08 - 12:24:PM
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